I wanted to be special but.....

She only wants to be friends.....

Well then maybe I should had gave her the chocolates in the picture above instead of finishing them up because of some sweet temptations... I love kinders... especially bueno... I was also a bit reluctant to give her a box full because of the word friends written on it instead of "SPECIAL" or sorts because it just doesn't feel right to me...

Oh well, things havent been going on good lately especially for this year where i have lost eventually everything important to me. Lost my laptop where my whole life's memories captured in pictures and videos in it... the laptop cost little to me... but its the memories that cost me my life and soul... along with my good handphone memories in that thing too in similar forms and business contacts... lost half of my friends contacts because i lost a phone and i havent been recovering from that. next I lost my long termed relationship when it was going well and happily waiting for the right time... and i am on alcohols and cigs most of the time... and most importantly i lost my confidence talking to everyone... cause i feel like i have nothing better to offer other than just both my hands... no cash, no credit cards, no commitments...

living without that special someone to share with is my biggest problem now... there are friends around... good ones in fact... but growing up being a outcast for being born into a mixed blood family doesnt teach me how to share but rather the other way round and also it lowers down the social rates and well lowers down the confidence level... which cause me problems now meeting new people and also telling that someone what i really wants...

the other problem has been there forever... heart races frantically whenever alone with her... mind just had that extra kicks but its not thinking... honestly... she had been the one i had constantly tried to let go and ignored but i couldnt help drawing towards her... because i wan her by my side... so that i could be by her side... to love her, pamper her, protect her, and support her... eventhough i know i have limited reserves to actually do everything but i would like to be there for her everytime she needs it...

but i failed miserably all these years... i blame timing, i blame situations, and i blame myself for not appreciatting her when i had the chance...

Should i moved on and leave this chapter or i should hold on because this is the new chapter... i'm not sure myself... Moving on means finding a chick that is pretty enough, good enough and have a relationship while my heart still have feeling for her... so unfair towrds the new girl who doesnt know me...

but holding on might waste my own previous time... i should be out there enjoying...

puzzles... dun even know which ones i am in...

but well... honestly i hate to continue denying those feelings to everyone including my family...

New activity in my room

Hey all, just finished my most difficult month in labuan. Battling with short of cash, rivising rigourously for my semester exam, fighting over some minor relationship issue, badly answered examination questions, and lastly got my breaking up in a long termed relationship. Oh well, so many had changed in this one month, I am singled, I have no money and I think I did the most stupid thing by arriving at the exam centre drunk because of the quarrelling and well of course i didnt do well in it too. Anyways, in the mmiddle of those bad days, do have something to cheer me up. Contacted an old buddy, kept me occupied and cleaned my heart wounds by lending ears. Although the high telecom bills i have now, its all worth it. Anyway, back to topic, new addition in my room is the dart board there beside my table. Messy table aint it. Well, i didnt buy the dart board. Honestly it was given to me by my bunch of good friend who knew i am still healing from the recent lost. Havent bought my dart though. But its cool.

Final in one week

The semester 1 final of one year program in malaysian matriculation is going to be held in 1 week. Everyone is studying, revising, reading and whatever you like to call them. As for me, well i am busy with my revisions accompanied by my dunhill lights. Never thought i will pick up cig again after quiting for a few years. But they sure keep me awake at times like these. Anyway. Wish me luck and to all others in lmc. Good luck and hopefully we all get 4 flat.

Weekend my the pool table

This is what i was doing today for the whole afternoon. Well, this is the normal pass time for the students at my college during weekends. Except for liquers and beers, we hang out here for free wifi and also pool. Whether you are pro or just a noob. Everyone share the wow and laugh together besides having chilled beverages. Nothing to update. Just taking the oppturnity to update my blog. To all my muslims friends, selamat berpuasa!

The adventure trip down South

Was at Muar, Johor to meet up with my sister last weekend. One of the holiday plans I have. Well, found out that Muar is just like my own hometown in Miri, Sarawak. Even the food tasted almost the same. The only different is the driving practice that the people used there. Unethical drivers were everywhere. In such a small town and i don't really understand why are people rushing up and down on the road... Didn't took much picture though when I was there. Just realized when i am writing this entry.

But the thing I enjoyed the most there is the local delicacies. Hit down to Muar and walk down the streets for Otak-Otak which is some grilled seafood wrapped in leaf, get some local fried noodles and they are sure different and delicious than the ones i had tasted elsewhere in Malaysia. other than that, if you liked seafood, try the fried oyster and enjoy that aroma. and as for breakfast, of course the otak-otak buns.

anyway. thats all from Muar.

The holiday continues

The holiday continues with a meal at some pirate designed restaurant in Sunway Piramid. Have to say the food was nice so as the designs. Having my stomach filled, Joan and I went on for a picture frenzy, here is some shots of the wall art...

Anyway, on our way back to our apartment, we were shocked by the fire alarm from Taylor's College which is just beside our apartment. Had some chopper shots of the frantic in Taylor's

turns out the fire was from the basement parkings. no more informations available... or maybe I am not bothered. It's not my college anyway...

A holiday getaway at the nation capital - Kuala Lumpur.

This is the first day of shopping. In Mid Valley and going to The Gardens. With a plactic bag from Licci which isn't there in Mid Vallay or The Gardens. Inside the bag is some dancing pad that people used to play some dancing game. Beside me is my long termed girl friend, Joan. Well, we didn't actually went full force on the shopping side. We were there to have a little reunion with our school mates. Had a great time catching up and having lunch. Seems like everyone is grown up and well mature in many ways. Gonna miss you all when i have gone back to my small little island later. Anyway, hope to see you all during Christmas.



This is a random shot of the huge chess set at the Mid Valley. Guess they were borrowed from Goliath's home.













Dining sets too?

a view of my lovely school...

now probably my friends had been listening to my complaints about my college... and well this is a documentaries about its setting... just a part of it... not all... i will try to get a chopper view of the other side... jus wait and see... for now...

PART 1




the majestic field where we called it "Astaka".... whatever that means... (",)... anyway this was taken at mid day so there is no people around the track jogging and working out... if this is taken in the evening, then you can see ladies jogging around with their tits bouncing... haha... and of course boys showing off their latest jogging sneaks...



the view of the "sick" dorm... not exactly my dorm area but this is the poor lecturer's who had to suffer the problematic "insufficient water problem"... while on top of the stupid problem... the school is jus 1 mile away from the water source of the ISLAND... but oh well... its good to had those grown-ups suffer along so they know about our problems but... nothing-done....


actually was trying to take the mosque view... but then this is the best i could do from the tallest building in the school... well as you can see in the school the infrastructure of the school is top class... if only i could get hold of a car here... or better still drive my own car here to school.... haha... but that is pathetically impossible to do here, as it's against the school rules...



the car-park right till the main entrance... and also the Astaka I mentioned earlier... now this is a part of the walk I had to take before I endure the blazing sun, waiting for "mini-bus" to come and bring me downtown... anyway... there are guard at the entrance but expect only craps from them about the latest updates of the school "outting" rules...



this is the little pond just beside the tallest building... this is the part where students usually wait for the time for the lecturer to finally come back from their business... or celebrate a special occasion or just hang out... anyway i have never been there... haha... i prefer some place with food...

ok thts all for now...

ciao...

holiday again

well... its holiday again... and happy birthday to my sis, rona... hahaha...

but then ok, the real deal, thiss holiday doesnt seem to be fun at all... i am still in labuan spending them and had a little stroll around town today... and bought an earring here...well, nothing else tht is cool and wearable to buy here other than this... was thinking of buying liquer again but somehow to think that i have less than 90 days to my final exams stop me from doing so...


anyway... here is how i am going to spend my holiday this time... online and in the library where there is no privacy and tons of website being blocked, even the search results are blocked...

oh well, thats life in labuan...
Boringly stranded...

Life goes on...

Well, for some reason this blog is dead now... havent really found a material to really blog about... haha... still searching for it.

anyway... this post is for the seasonal greetings...

merry X'mas & Happy New Year!!!

my new year resolutions: tune my car audio setup to perfections;have my own fibre glass designing in my car;join the SQ competition if there is any...

what are your???