loosing myself... to temper...

- lost a big deal
- relationship break-ups
- more relationship break-ups
- compensation for things i did not do.
- car broke down
- bank account exhausted
- my rolex strap needs replacement
- etc etc the list goes on...

I am angry, almost all the time. to what the unfortunate events cost me. Poured my heart and soul into everything and it just gets back to me like tsunami.

recently I find myself always on bad temper. either i dont know why, or i know why but i cant seem to acknowledge it. i am a person who doesnt give up easily to things that i have equire, but problem is, things leave me.

i know i am always an angry over the  years, some people may not know, is because after i acquired things, they leave me behind. no matter how much i try to keep them.

i dont know what else should i do to keep things around me. i tried to be nice, gentleman for the pass one year or so. but for the pass one year, i have lost more than any other time. because in that period, i had acquired a lot of things, but in the end, they were the ones that leaves first.

recently my friend got married. joyful event. i was there to bear witness. old friend of mine, first among the list to get married, well "without missed shots". whilst it was merry, deep down, it hurts me to be there. everyone was talking to each other, except me. felt alienated although all of them were my high school friends. I always wonder, good people were always remembered as a friend. bad ones in reality, always have their own bunch of friends while good ones will occasionally join them. apparently none of the above fits my bill. and seriously, i am confused here.

I need a therapist, well... 
I think...

I always remember Dr. Vijay (QuestNet Founder) used to say, "1 second of anger, 10 years of destructions". Its quite true actually but life just pushes people around and anger and disgust just flows like a river, non stop. I fight back all the time, because I do not wan to be drifted away by the current, accepting whatever that is coming my way.

but fighting back is always the one way that cost me the most. i am tired and alone. Guess its true what they say,

Life is a joke, drink beer is serious. 

+1 on the comment if you are with me...  

Simple riddle

Najib asked the Queen, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient
government? Are there any tips you can give to me?"

" Well," said the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself
with intelligent people."

Najib frowned, and then asked, " But how do I know the people around me
are really intelligent?"
The Queen took a sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy; you just ask them to answer
an intelligent riddle." The Queen pushed a button on her intercom. "Please
send Tony Blair in here, would you?"
Tony Blair walked into the room and said, "Yes, my Queen?"
The Queen smiled and said, "Answer me this please, Tony, your mother and
father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who
is it?"
Without pausing for a moment, Tony Blair answered, "That would be me."
"Yes! Very good," said the Queen.

Najib went back home to ask Mahyudin the same
question. "answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a
child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"
"I'm not sure," said Mahyudin. "Let me get back to you on that one..." He
went to his advisors and asked every one, but none could give him an
answer. Finally, he ended up in the men's room and recognized Lim Guan Eng's shoes in the next stall.
Mahyudin didn't want but asked anyway, "Lim, can you
answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it's not your
brother or your sister. Who is it?"
Lim yelled back, "That's easy, it's me!"
Mahyudin smiled, and said, "Thanks!"

Then, he went back to speak with Najib.
"Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It's
Lim Guan Eng!"
Najib got up, stomped over to Mahyudin, and angrily yelled into his face,
"No! You idiot! It's Tony Blair!"

Credits to gohky @ [url=miricommunity.net]Miri Community[/url]

Long List of Updates!

Hi followers...

been long time didnt update this... sorry for that if you are still following...

well... in this around 9 months of time... a lot had happened... will try to follow up as much as possible within this post...

JAN 2010

Bought my first D-SLR, the Nikon D3000. The pics below are courtesy of this SLR i have... enjoy!

Celebrated my birthday with Heather who came over to johor bharu... stayed at this J Hotel. very nice place. recommended!

Heather, shy off the lense... well i just got this SLR 2 weeks before she came over... had the most memorable birthday so far ever...

Thanks to her that made this year a very special one...

having lunch at McD. had the ring fries(i totally forgot what its called already... XD)

FEB 2010

CNY season...

well Heather wasnt with me during this period... but still this year, i had a long holiday and fortunately had a bunch of friends all coming back from overseas, made it such a fun ones...

Fireworks! cant miss this every CNY although its illegal here in Malaysia, but whats a CNY without one huh?

My MAS flight being prep before taking off from KLIA!

This is Rona, holding our boarding passes for flight KL-MYY

Allan posing with his modified van...

sweet ride!

The simple family Reunion dinner... steamboat with my dad's specialty sup tulang!

Another shot at fireworks... this one was captured from my best friend, chun hau's place... one of the biggest i have seen in my life...

another element that completes a CNY... Lion dance! there is another one, the Dragon dance, but unfortunately, i dun have my cam at those times...

Visiting my good friend, Kelvin's house... super huge, super comfy, super food! thanks for the hospitality!

Ah... Gear talks there... XD

Towards the end of CNY, my sis and I experienced a bad delay... 12 hours delay! and i have to say, screw MAS Malaysian's Hospitality... No system, impolite ground staff! No wonder everyone flies with Air Asia nowadays...

But anyway... as the flight got delayed for 12 hours, and within these hours, Heather got back to Miri from KK... i took this opportunity to drive down to Senadin from the airport to hook up with her...

Arriving KL after the fucking MAS delays... the next morning before driving down to JB, we had breakfast with Allan...

Went to his house and was greeted by this sweet beagle, Max. My bro's pet...

Well... the journey havent been nice as well... our car went on a over-heating problem half-way on the PLUS High-way... and shortly after this, there was some motherfuckers who tried to rob us off our ride... but Praise the Lord, all is good. Nothing lost, no one hurt...

MARCH 2010

Well its pass my 2010 1st semester's exam and i went back to Miri...

The beaches is the play that heather likes the most... and well that trip, i promise her that i would spend 5 days with her on the beach just dating...
Waiting for the sunset after we did the shot below...
a composite picture of us both... XD... had fun doing this, hopefully could do this again at a different venue...
Then, the sun set came and here are some shots...
Second shot...

Third shot... and then my holiday ended...

APRIL 2010

Start of the 2nd Semester 2010... Now at this time, I was kinda just started to get a hang of the life here in Skudai, Johor Bharu. A lot of stuff a different here and the funny/embarasing part is, I am forced to "re-learnt" my mandarin and upgrade my level on it... XD. and the people here likes to play as long as it involves water... :ϸ

Went to Melaka for a one day trip there...

Jonker Walk! the sculpture at the start of the walk...

Resting on the Red Building. The historical building in Melaka...

Our group expect me behind the lense having a group photo!

Bomb the motherfuckers! MWAhaHAhaHAhaHAha!

This is the playing with water thingy i mentioned earlier... this was the start of the orientation night gathering...

Greet the Station leader, first thing, get wet...

Lost in a round of game, getting more wet...

Third round, all wet, and not have to blow the ping pong ball out of the cup filled with water...

While doing the juggling... more water please!

And ends with everyone looking really wet... just before they go home... XD!

Love Life!

MAY 2010

Was covering my school's graduation dinner. A fun filled event and a big congrats to the organizers for the success of the event... below are some shots of the event... enjoy!

Enjoying his dance performance.

The food. Nice, nice and very nice! although there were a problem of poor estimation, but still return home with a full stomach.

Some key chain for memory at the registration counter!

Unfortunately these are the only shots that i am gonna share in this post...

Well... at this point, life was back to normal... WHY? you might be asking. Well, my faithful speed lite went haywired late in the month of May... hence at that point, going out taking pictures was really a disappointment, thought me a very good lesson though that brought me to the next event that is going to unfold shortly, the lesson is: Good lighting is the other half beside a good camera in a photographer's journey...

Fast Forward to August 2010!

Now the big upgrade! My very own home based portrait studio i open for business... Still a lot of arrangements and also setting up to do as I am writing this post, but all in all, its open for all sorts of portraits: personal portraits, fashion portraits, product shots, convocation portraits etc etc...

here are some soft copy of my works from the studio!

Products!

Portraiture

Portraiture again!

well, for more info on services that i provide, feel free to call me at

0168529993

brian-r-tan

For now, ciao!

Have a nice Day!

Semester ended

Semester 1 of my school has come to an end. Hopefully i will get a good result from the final exam. Anyway, at the mean time, i will just sit back and enjoy my beers! Updates later on much cooler stuff. Stay tuned.

Outting

Went out jalan jalan. Nothing to do then took this picture. Having dinner at kenny rogers now. Hihi. Like the picture and i thought wanted to update the long forgotten blog. Ciao.

new place, new begining...

reach skudai with my dad... and my 30KG of stuff from miri that is seem to be sufficient for my head start in the new place, Skudai, Johor... situated at the south of the Malaysian Peninsular... and only a 30mins drive to Johor Bharu... the first impression of life here is everyone seems to be minding their own business... nobody cares...

proved it huh? the kids are playing with the fountain just outside the jusco mall here... kinda funny that this dun happen even in my small hometown in Miri!

-----------------------------------------------

this is the view of my school... for mirians, does it look like Chung Hua secondary school? tha place is call Southern College and i will be doing my Electrical & Electronic Engineering here...

the view of my room wheni just moved in with my 30KG of stuff... and havent arrange them! messy! hahaha...

Yea! I know... Its Small!

After setting everything down at the dorm from the car... we head out to the famous Bah Ku Teh place in skudai...

This is not all the dish... but heck i am too hungry to take picture... after taking this pic... i just eat eat eat and the next thing i know... its all gone! XD

and after 2 days of arranging and unpacking...

Thats all for this time i guess... more to come once the class starts already...

ciao...